Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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