Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize