i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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