I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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