Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.

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(404): Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again. http://tfl.nu/0won

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(203): View more from Connecticut

omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?

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(203): omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it? http://tfl.nu/nfju

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(707): View more from California

I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever

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(707): I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever http://tfl.nu/38jn

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(630): View more from Illinois

You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".

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(630): You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking". http://tfl.nu/tuao

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(989): View more from Michigan

I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.

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(989): I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study. http://tfl.nu/z59m

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(315): View more from New York

I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.

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(315): I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite. http://tfl.nu/f93w

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(613): View more from Ontario

Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.

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(613): Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big. http://tfl.nu/u6h6

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(303): View more from Colorado

Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds

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(303): Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/arjt

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(260): View more from Indiana

He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.

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(260): He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again. http://tfl.nu/91lg

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(317): View more from Indiana

Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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(317): Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day. http://tfl.nu/olid

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(816): View more from Missouri

Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.

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(816): Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines. http://tfl.nu/u22h

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(907): View more from Alaska

ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING

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(907): ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING http://tfl.nu/zq26

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(207): View more from Maine

C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!

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(207): C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!! http://tfl.nu/tb1b

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(727): View more from Florida

I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!

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(727): I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that! http://tfl.nu/zrpi

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.

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(505): Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle. http://tfl.nu/hoqs

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