u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize