i don't like sucking hair
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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