yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize