dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize