this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
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U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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