It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize