I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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