Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have grass duct taped all over my body
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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