So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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