ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
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All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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