I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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