Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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