I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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