If that was your dad, he is hot
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
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Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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