I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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