Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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