Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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