when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize