i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize