Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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