Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I smell stomach acid.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
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I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
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There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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