aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Houston, we have a blender
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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