Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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