Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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