it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize