MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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