went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize