I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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