I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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