Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
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Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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