I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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