But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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