it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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