full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize