I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
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He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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