whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
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herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
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he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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