After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
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Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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