pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the condom got lost in my hair
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize