i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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