Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize