he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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