thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
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