I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
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The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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