so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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