I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
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Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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