No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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